Lost and Found

Three things were lost today - 1) me; 2) my phone; and 3) Ben.

We decided to take a family trip to Target to get all the things we forgot while on yesterday's Target outing. It really amazing how this happens - you prepare your detailed list of everything you need at Target, ranging from baby food to things to prune a shrub to decorative plates, you go to the store and get everything on your list plus some things that you didn't know you needed until you saw it, like the wire sponge holder that suction cups to the side of the sink, and within 10 minutes of returning home you've already made a list of 5 more items that you need to go back to Target for. It always happens like this.

Anyway, it was getting close to Logan's afternoon nap time, and Steve was in a browsey mood where he wanted to go down every aisle and look at all the fun stuff. While I usually love when Steve is in this mood, because it means that he's taking a little hiatus from being a robot, I wanted to make this a quick trip so we could get Logan home for a nap. We split up - Steve took Ben in the stroller and I took Logan in the cart - and I made sure I had my cell phone right in front of me so that when Steve called wondering where I was I'd be able to get to the phone without a problem.

My first mistake (and only mistake, of course, because I'm almost perfect) was asking Logan to look after my phone. I balanced it on the fabric of the shopping cart cover and he eagerly picked it up and examined it and chewed it and held it up to his ear. Our first stop was the infant/toddler clothing section to buy new jeans for Ben, because - poor thing - the two pairs of jeans he has are so short on him now. I really think he's had a growth spurt in the past few weeks. While I was perusing the racks of amazingly well-priced Cherokee jeans Logan busied himself with a tag he found on a piece of clothing that was hanging next to him. After I picked up two pairs of jeans for Ben we headed off to the Swiffer aisle. It was then that I remembered that I had asked Logan to mind my phone for me, and then that I realized that he was still playing with the tag that he had in fact ripped off a shirt back in the clothing section. "Uh oh... please tell me you're sitting on the phone or it's just fallen in the cart..."

Nope. The damn phone was gone. I got flustered, embarrassed, amused, angry at myself for expecting my 9 month old to know what "responsibility" meant, and scared in anticipation of Steve's reaction to this. I went back to the infant/toddler section and scoured it for a good 10 minutes before I conceded that the phone wasn't there. I was hoping, hoping that a good samaritan or Target employee had found it and taken it to the customer service desk, but I have to admit that the thought that maybe someone would take it and use it themselves did cross my mind.

When I started walking towards the customer service desk to reveal my idiocy, I saw Steve talking to an employee down one of the aisles. I decided that I had to tell him what I'd done at some point, so might as well do it now.

As it turns out, he thought I was lost and was about to have me paged over the loudspeaker. Something along the lines of "Catherine [rhymes with freckles], please meet your husband by ladies' intimates!" Steve's actual words were, "You were almost about to be embarrassed! I was going to have you paged," to which I replied, "Um, I'm already embarrassed. I lost my phone [sheepish grin]."

As I predicted, Steve was none too happy with this. He was quite disappointed in me. Which I actually don't really understand, as I don't really lose things very often. It's actually one of the qualities I pride myself on. I just don't lose things. We all went back to the infant/toddler clothing section, Target employee in tow, and re-scoured everything I'd just scoured. While we looked, Steve continuously called my phone so we'd hear it ringing. After a few calls someone picked up - the lady at the customer service desk. Phew! What a sigh of relief I let out. I was so happy that it was in fact a good samaritan who'd found my phone and turned it in to the customer service people. Thank you so much, whoever you are!

We thanked the Target employee and got ready to get the rest of the stuff on my list. Steve said, "Do we need anything else?" My reply - "Yes. Ben." I'd just realized that Ben was nowhere to be found. It was truly one of the scariest moments of my life. You know, all the horrible scenarios go through your head when something like this happens - scenarios that are too awful to even type. So I won't.

After a few minutes more of frantic searching through the infant/toddler clothing section, another nice lady called us over and said Ben was over by where she was (probably about 10 feet from where we were). Thank God.

Of course I was furious at Steve. I couldn't believe that he would let something like that happen when he was supposed to be tending to Ben. I couldn't believe that he was so intent on finding the stupid cell phone that he neglected his duties as a parent, which at that time included minding Ben. Of course when I pointed out to Steve that he reamed me out for losing a phone and then proceded to lose our son, he made a joke out of it. Ugh, men.